Every Friday, I take a look at the GovTribe usage stats and pick out a few trending federal government contracting opportunities from the past week. This series highlights the popular, interesting, or curiously named from the bunch. It is by no means a hard-hitting or in-depth analysis. It is merely a small window into the wacky and wonderful world of government contracting, based on the thousands of people using GovTribe. I suggest you read it during happy hour after a couple beverages. The jokes get funnier and let's be honest, I need all the help I can get.

This week, the trending opportunities feature the best in a mashup of big/small screen productions and the eloquent prose of government procurement professionals. Or something like that.

Key Personnel: Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams

The Food and Drug Administration saw quite a bit of traffic go to its open solicitation for the "Electronic Laboratory Notebook" IDIQ. Set aside for small business, the initial task order SOW opens with the groundbreaking line, "The use of electronic approaches to data capture and annotation are making traditional methods of scientific recording less efficient every year." Based on this clutch hypothesis, the winning contractor will be responsible for replacing "paper based laboratory notebooks currently in use." Sorta makes for a less than quaint ending if Duke is reading to Allie from an iPad, but I suppose all things must progress.

Key Personnel: Walter White

The Drug Enforcement Agency had a hit this week with its Facilities Support Services RFI. This RFI had a (generous?) one week turnaround and was focused on "provid[ing] the full range of program/project management functions and program planning for the acquisition and renovation of Field Offices." I'm not advocating for illicit activity but if Los Pollos Hermanos needed a new cover...

Key Personnel: John Connor

I do not claim to be an expert in military air traffic control but this popular/awesome/frightening Air Force Sources Sought sounds like how I imagine Skynet begins. "Specifically, a modern autorouter for a 4th generation air to ground fighter would select the best route to a target taking into account ground based threats. The autorouter would take into account on-board or off-board electronic attack capabilities and their effects to determine the optimal route and optimal EA techniques. Additionally, the autorouter would have the capability of planning multiple routes of different aircraft types while deconflicting the routes in time and space. The autorouter would be portable and operate in near-real time over a collaborative and geographically distributed environment."

Seriously, if you're reading this in the future let's just make it clear that I didn't break this "story". Totally unnecessary for you to send some sort of robot to my office and...wait a minute....someone's loudly knocking at my door. Ummmm....I gotta go...BUT...

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wait for it...

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it's gonna be so good...

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I'LL BE BACK.

(nailed it.)