Every Friday, I take a look at the GovTribe usage stats and pick out a few trending federal contracting opportunities from the past week. This series highlights the popular, interesting, or curiously named from the bunch. It is by no means a hard-hitting or in-depth analysis. It is merely a small window into the wacky and wonderful world of government contracting, based on the thousands of people using GovTribe. I suggest you read it during happy hour after a couple beverages. The jokes get funnier and let's be honest, I need all the help I can get.

There’s a nautical theme in the trending projects I’ve chosen this week. It could be an actual trend. Likely it's my affinity for a timeless Billy Joel classic.

And Justice for All

The Air Force released a redacted Sources Sought this week, screamingly entitled "COUNTER NARCOTICS AND GLOBAL THREATS (CNGT) DIVISION." Focused on providing "Boston Whaler Justice Boats" for USSOUTHCOM, the draft Performance Work Statement reads like a prop requirement for Miami Vice. "Two high speed straddle seat seats mounted behind primary seats...Gun Mounts to be mounted amidships: one on port side and one on starboard side and provided with cradles and pintles for the weapons...300 HP Verado 4 Stroke Direct Injection engines." I'm not drawing any conclusions here but this sources sought saw quite a bit of...ahem...traffic this week.

Is Red Lobster Hiring?

Planning on nautically navigating the Everglades in the near future? Book your trip soon because the Coast Guard posted an award notice for Blue Water Marine Services "...to remove 15 Aides To Navigation within the boundaries of the park..." They say the job market is coming back but I can't imagine where an unemployed navigational aide goes next.

Pot Ship Lollipop

This week, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration updated its solicitation for repairs to the research vessel Gloria Michelle. What? You've never heard of the Gloria Michelle? Let NOAA enlighten you on its colorful past. "The steel-hulled vessel was built as a Gulf of Mexico shrimp boat by Diesel Shipbuilding of Jacksonville, Fla, in 1974, but in 1979 the ship was seized by U.S. Customs with a cargo of 16 tons of marijuana aboard stowed in the fish hold." After paying 4k in storage fees, Jack Moakley sailed the reformed boat up to Gloucester and...wait for it...repainted it green. Less hilarious heads have since prevailed and this project is to refresh its current shade of blue.